I bought benedryl because that’s what will smith used in hitch

There are days when you wake up on the wrong side of your bed. You stub your toe getting out, and you drop your toothbrush on the ground. You burn your toast and your coffee’s too weak.

There are days when you wake up wildly wondering what day it is and oh god, did I miss my 8 am again?

And then there are days when you wake up and your right ear is bigger than your left one. It’s itchy, swollen, and you squint at yourself in the mirror thinking it might break at any moment.

I was so busy yesterday there was no time to look in the mirror until around 5 last night. This means I woke up at 11, watched Doctor Who and baked chocolate chip cookies in my fuzzy bunny slippers, pajamas, and the the ponytail I fell asleep in. It wasn’t until we needed to go to the grocery store that a little voice inside of me reminded me I probably should try to look somewhat presentable. That’s when I finally noticed my swollen upper lip and the creeping spots that had been appearing on my face all day. My friends didn’t tell me because they thought I’d already noticed. I mean, it’s kind of hard to miss a red rash across your face and it was almost dinnertime at this point.

But for future reference guys, I will never have already noticed. Anything. I’m trying to change though, because if I ever witness a crime I’m not entirely sure the police will be too pleased with me as a witness.

After a couple hours of bemoaning my appearance, I finally went to get some allergy medicine and bought Benedryl on my friend’s advice, because “Will Smith used it in Hitch.” Product placement works, y’all.

But Benedryl doesn’t, at least as an antihistamine (yup; totally learned about this in AP Bio). I did spend all day drugged up on it so that I literally slept through the entire day, though. Except for the intervals in which I dragged myself into the bathroom to examine my hives, and oh look. I think it got worse! and wait–then the hives spread to my fourth finger on my right hand. Itchy bumps on my ears and face, and then on one finger. I don’t know what this means except for I couldn’t get my ring off.

There are too many things I ate yesterday that could be potential allergens and because I have zero frame of reference as to when the hives started coming, I’m pretty much scared to eat anything I have in my kitchen right now.

Lesson of the day: I ate something, and now I’m allergic to something.